Where do I even start with Miranda?
by ImplicationsProblematic
Summary: Shepard reminisces about her time with Miranda and the changes in their relationship. So the idea behind this is that, sometime between ME2 and ME3, Shepard is reminiscing about her crew and describing them to someone- maybe it's Vega, or Anderson, or Kaidan even. 7 crew members down thus far!


I haven't talked about Miranda yet have I? Not properly I mean. Hmmm… where do I even start with Miranda?

Well, I guess I'll start at the beginning. Ha, _'Begin at the beginning, and go on till you come to the end: then stop.' _Right? Anyway, Miranda was the operative in charge of the Lazarus Project, i.e my resurrection, and her voice is the earliest thing I remember after… well, _dying_. I slipped in and out of consciousness a few times because they had trouble keeping me under… and my first visual memories are her face. When I woke up— y'know, _properly_— the station was under attack. Obviously I had no idea where I was or what was going on. The only thing I was certain of was that everything _really fucking hurt_. Miranda was speaking to me over a tannoy, told me where to find a weapon and guided me to the shuttles. I met Jacob along the way and got a couple of answers out of him. _"You died, Cerberus brought you back, it's two years later…"_ …enough to be going on with. And by 'going on with' I mean 'utterly mindfuck me'. A bit later, we ran into Wilson— he was Miranda's assistant— but I didn't exactly get to know him. It turned out that he was to blame for the attack on the station, so Miranda put a bullet in him within five seconds of finding us. That was quite an introduction to Ms Lawson.

Miranda and I… we didn't get on for a long time. She was this _ice queen._ A twenty four carat bitch. She was arrogant as fuck— and she had reason to be. Her genome was designed for perfection, everything about her was…_ engineered_. And it worked. Biotic badass, astronomically intelligent, longer lifespan, healing almost as quick as mine… and pretty freaking gorgeous too. So yeah, she was cocky— not exactly surprising. I don't like arrogance, but I can deal with it. What I _couldn't_ deal with, was how callous she was… how **cold**. And she had total faith in Cerberus. It's funny, at no point did she seem particularly anti—alien, despite being, as Jack used to say, _"A Cerberus Cheerleader_". Maybe she never had any issues with other species, or maybe they were overridden by her pragmatism. Because damn was she… shall we say _efficient_? Ruthless too.

I spent _ .time _fighting Cerberus. I died hating them as much as I hated anything. And then I was back. Because of _them_. And I had no choice but to work with them. So having her around shaking her perfect Cerberus pompoms… I resented her like crazy. In the early days, I ignored a lot of perfectly reasonable— even helpful— suggestions that she made, just because they came from her. I warmed to Jacob pretty quickly by comparison. Yeah he was Cerberus, but he was basically a nice guy. _Mislead_, yes. But nice.

It was different with Miranda. I couldn't find anything to like about her— there were things I could respect, but not _like_. And the drama between her and Jack… Jesus Christ. I had to physically intervene to stop them pulling each other apart with their biotics. Yeah, Jack was prickly— not the most… stable or reasonable member of the crew— but Miranda seemed to go out of her way to piss her off sometimes. They were better by the end, but still not great. I wouldn't leave them alone in a room together. Although, Joker had a theory that half their problem was unresolved sexual tension… I never mentioned it to either of them because they probably would have shoved him through the cockpit window.

As time went on, Miranda became easier to work with. In fairness, I guess I changed too. I didn't stop being angry at Cerberus, if anything it got worse— **but****_, _**I used the anger… _channeled_ it. I stopped disregarding everything she said out of spite. Like I said though, Miranda changed. She got a little friendlier, started questioning some of The Illusive Man's decisions. When he tricked us into that mission on the Collector ship… something changed for her then I think. Not anything huge… but it was like a stone disturbing a lake.

But it was when she had to ask for a favour that things really took a turn. She didn't like having to ask for my help, but it was necessary. She's proud, but she's not an idiot. That was the first time I felt I got any real insight into the real Miranda buried so carefully beneath that flawless, emotionless exterior.

I knew she'd been built for perfection, but the circumstances surrounding it were a mystery to me. I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of asking and I doubted she'd tell me anyway. But then that day she filled me in. Miranda was trying to seem as… practical about it all as ever, but I got the sense it was a little harder to talk about than she let on.

Her father— Henry Lawson— had spent millions of credits designing and creating the perfect daughter and… ostensibly, gave her everything she wanted. You know, except affection, freedom, any control over her own life… little things like that. No friends, no fun, no fuck ups. And even when she made incredible achievements, it was never enough, never praiseworthy. Because they weren't _her_ achievements, it was down to her… _design_. At least that's how her father saw it— and, if I'm honest, I think that's how Miranda saw it too. Suddenly the workings of the ice queen made a little more sense. There's no way you can go through something like that without it warping your attitude. Miranda knew I'd feel sorry for her and she _hated_ it. It was like that was the worst part for her… I don't know…

The way she put it to me was… _"He didn't want a daughter, he wanted a dynasty"_. And she wasn't the first kid he made— just the first one he'd _kept_. Fucking abusive creep. Not to mention perverted— what kind of father includes "killer ass" on their checklist for a custom made daughter? Oh yeah you haven't seen her. That must sound weird… trust me though— that thing is _ridiculous_.

Anyway, so understandably, Miranda wanted out. And she got out. I guess if you want to keep your daughter on a leash you shouldn't make them a combat savvy genius. He sent people after her of course, but she out—ran them, out—fought them, outsmarted them… But then it got complicated. Yeah okay, _more_ complicated. Because Henry Lawson decided to try again.

Daughter 2.0 was named Oriana. Genetically, she was Miranda's twin. Well he'd spent all that money on the perfect genome, why not use it again? So yeah, twins, but Oriana was… aha, _'grown_', after Miranda had escaped. When Miranda found out about her sister, she decided to get her out of there. Now I know you could say that Miranda didn't have the right to make that choice on Oriana's behalf… I suppose she did basically steal a baby… but I think she made the right call. I mean, should she have left her there, knowing what he father was like and how her life would be? I would have done the same without question. She gave Oriana a new life and new family on Ilium, but keeping her safe wasn't easy. Lawson had given up on Miranda, but he never stopped hunting her sister.

And that was why Miranda joined Cerberus— to keep Oriana safe. I mean, she _did_ agree with their agenda— she wasn't sacrificing saintly morals in the name of sisterly love. Miranda still had her… _malalignments_… But the driving force behind her signing up was protecting her sister— and I could respect that.

As you've probably guessed, the reason Miranda was disclosing all this was because her father had found out where Oriana was— she needed my help to foil an abduction attempt and ensure that the family were moved safely to a new location. Of course I said yes.

We met Miranda's contact at a bar in Nos Astra. It turned out that Miranda _had_ kept one contact from… y'know, _before_— a guy named Niket. He was gonna be involved in the move and, according to Miranda, we could trust him. We had to deal with a few Eclipse mercs, courtesy of her doting Dad. So then it was the usual stuff… fight, fight, fight, an explosion or ten… Standard fare. And then there _was_ a surprise. Miranda tapped into their coms and… well, that trust in Niket turned out to be misplaced. When we caught up with him and the merc captain— an Asari named Enyala— Miranda confronted him. It wasn't pretty… God, I felt for her. The one person she seemed to have some faith in betraying her like that… He said that taking Oriana had been a mistake— that Miranda leaving was one thing, but _'stealing a baby_' who wasn't able to have any say in the matter… I guess I can see his point. Or maybe I could if the alternative was leaving an innocent kid with that monster. Personally, I'm with Miranda.

The next thing I knew she had a gun to him. I can't be sure, but I think, _I think_, she was starting to cry… and that was fucking weird… scary even. I stopped her before she pulled the trigger. Buuuutttt, Enyala took him out anyway. Still, I'm glad Miranda wasn't the one to do it. Joker asked me why I let Garrus kill Sidonis, but stopped Miranda shooting Niket… I don't know… I mean, I **do** know, but it's hard to explain.

Garrus _needed_ to kill Sidonis, or he would have lost his mind dwelling on it. It was more of a clear cut situation; Sidonis betrayed him, pure and simple and killed good men in the process. Niket… Niket was in a tough situation trying to do the right thing… and he was a good friend to Miranda for a long time. He was clearly someone who meant a lot to Miranda— something of a unicorn in that regard. Killing him would have messed her up— well, messed her up _more_. I know she would have regretted it.

Anyway, Enyala put up quite the fight. Not enough of a fight though. After that, we made our way to Oriana.

Miranda intended to oversee the move and leave it at that— she wasn't even going to say hello. She was _scared_ to. Perfect, fearless, badass Miranda… She'd more or less lived her whole life for her sister and the girl had no idea she was out there. With a bit of reassurance— the sort I'd **never** have expected to be giving _her_— she worked up the nerve to speak to her and… I've gotta say, it felt pretty good to have been a part of that.

Afterwards, the change in Miranda was… well, subtle but significant. She was very different with me— and I guess I was different with her too. It was 50% her not acting like such a bitch and 50% me not treating her with the _expectation_ that she was going to be a bitch. She got on better with the rest of the crew too— well, not so much Jack… but still, there was an improvement.

The Illusive Man did his best to persuade me not to blow the Collector Base to Hell— I told him to go fuck himself— **and so did Miranda****_. _**She left Cerberus with her head high, her middle finger up and a big fucking explosion behind her. Even Jack respected her for that I think— not that she'd admit it.

I wouldn't have believed you in those early days on the SR2 if you'd told me that I'd end up not only respecting Miranda immensely, but considering her a good friend. I think about her quite a lot. Cerberus doesn't take resignations lightly— especially not when you know as much about their workings as Miranda does. She's more than capable of looking after herself, but hell, I'm a worrier I guess.

I think this is the longest one so far... it just sort of worked out that way.  
The first time I played ME2, I didn't like Miranda at all, but now I think she's one of my favourite characters. I have not done her justice by a long way- but I tried.

ALSO, the wonderful **A.E. McDuff** did this beautiful drawing after reading this 'series'- which is incredibly humbling and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

art/Reminiscing-520639914


End file.
